loss

I lost my twins at six weeks. Super early to some, but they were still real to me, still my babies, and the only pregnancy I’ve had. I saw the flicker of their heart beats and my world revolved around their existence from the moment they came until I had to let go.

Beta#2

I did my second beta on Friday, so yesterday morning. It was my day to work a long shift (meaning all day), so I finally broke down and did a satellite blood draw here in St. Cloud. Well they never called me. It was like four. I called CRM in Minneapolis and they were closed….

Beta #1

Came in at 565! this is at 9dp5dt, or about 14 days past ovulation, if I had ovulated, and they weren’t frozen embabies. 🙂 Over the moon! I got the call at work, and am now trying to figure out money for the meds for the remainder of the cycle :huge sadface: (omg so expensive,…

7 and 8dp5dt

I took my last HPT yesterday, which was 7dp5dt. I was worried because it was still very light initially, though did show up before the three mins was up. As it dried, it looks like it is about as dark as the day prior. I have no more tests, so I can no longer worry…

6dp5dt

Line was darker today! I decided to try the digital I had left over from December 2014 well before we started IVF. It was so exciting to see it say PREGNANT! I still feel like I can’t really get excited…or share it with others. I have told my parents, and I bought a cute card…

I’m on Top of the World

This song I thought this morning accurately described how I feel after our struggles, even just seeing that tiny, faint BFP. I coulda gave up then but Then again I couldn’t have ’cause I’ve traveled all this way for something I take it in but don’t look down ‘Cause I’m on top of the world,…

5dp5dt

Here we are at 5 days past 5 day transfer, which is technically (if this was not an IVF/FET cycle) would be 9dpo (days past ovulation). SUPER exciting amazing morning with smiles of stupidity. So, woke up super early this morning. Like before 5:30. Very hungry and warm. I woke up just before 2 as…

4dp5dt

4dp5dt. I felt more of the weird pulling/sore/tight ab thing again today – although increase in bowel movements as well..weird. but it seems to be a constant ache on my lower (ovary? uterus?) left region above my hip bone. Really irritable yesterday and today. Made a cake for a retirement party. ganache did not turn…

3dp5dt

3dp5dt. Woke up super early to go to the bathroom and my lower back hurt like a mofo. Not an odd thing, but kinda since I haven’t been working out or sitting improperly. Not as tired, abdomen felt OK  until during shower…tried not to make it too hot. Oddly the proud owner of lots of…

2dp5dt

2dp5dt. Today I was super tired. Still had the slight tight feeling in my abs. Still not sure if sign or bathroom issues. Came home, walked both dogs, passed out on couch, Dave came home, then I went to sleep..for like eight hours.